Rules are the key to a harmonious society, especially in Beijing. When someone in authority tells us what to do, we do it. Or at least, we try to understand what to do. We try really hard. Please obey these Chinglish signs.
Can you be a bit more specific?
OK, never mind.
If you absolutely have to, wear loose fitting pants.
Feel free to spick though.
Well, maybe we’ll just come inside and find you, baby carrot salad!
When it does happen it has a habit of catching you by surprise.
This makes our head hurt.
It already hurts, but if If you insist. Here goes.
OWW! WHYDIDN’TYOUSAYSO?
There are some things better left to the professionals.
Finally. A rule we can live by, straight forward, no-nonsense, to the point. Just wish they’d have told us sooner.
WIPE FLUSH
Accordingg to Wiktionary, “morder” means “bite” in Austurian. Austurian? According to Google, Austurias is an autonomous community in northwest Spain. Delving even deeper into the etymology, “morder” means “jackass” according to a single entry in Urban Dictionary. Hmm.
It could just be a typo.
We don’t have anything to add. Good advice.
This is also good advice.
Well duh.
Well duh. Huh?
Let’s think about this for a second. After first under on. After. first. under. on.
[Head explodes].
About the author: Tom O’Malley is Propaganda Secretary at Bespoke Beijing. A lifestyle journalist, guidebook author, glutton and bon vivant, Tom is a tireless crusader for fine food, hospitality and tourist experiences in China’s capital.