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Home / The Urban Edit / Know / These Comments Will Give You Away As A Tourist…

The Urban Edit

These Comments Will Give You Away As A Tourist…

April 9, 2018 Beijing

Some advice isn’t worth heeding. What we’re about to tell you, however, very much is.

We love helping visitors to China (heck, it’s our whole job), but sometimes when we impart well-meaning words of wisdom to visiting acquaintances, we spot that look of skepticism flicker across their faces. We can almost hear the voice in their heads saying “thanks for the advice n’all, but I’ll be fine.”

So we’ve decided to make this list for the China pros (you!) to share with your visiting friends and family. You know, the people who love you so much they actually take your opinion less seriously than a complete stranger’s (annoying eh?).

That’s right, this is for you, stubborn explorer, because even though you don’t believe us, we really don’t want to see you have a bad time in our beloved city (much less have to stifle an ‘I told you so’). And this way you can sound like a Beijing Pro even if you aren’t one.

“Fake it till you make it,” and all that…

—————

The Newbie comment: “So on Tuesday I’m going to do the Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven, Summer Palace and Lama Temple. Then the next day I’ll do the Great Wall, hutongs, 798 and Ming Tombs…”

Don’t pack your itinerary as tightly as this market stall..

What we’re dying to say: Oh that’s amazing, did Elon Musk install his Hyperloop here already? No? Ah. Then you’ll probably have to scale that itinerary back a bit. This is Beijing, after all, where traffic is notorious and subways don’t quite reach all of the parts you want them to. Aim for two sights per day (one in the morning, one in the afternoon) and you’ll be making a lot more sense…

—————

The Newbie comment: “Wait, it’s how much? But I thought China was supposed to be cheap!”

These are basically useless

What we’re dying to say: It was…in 2003.

After more than a decade of double-digit wage growth, China’s labor force is no longer the world’s cheap option, and the cost of living has subsequently increased too. The price of everything from vegetables to gas has gone up several times over, and nowhere more than in the major cities. For starters, in Beijing, a Starbucks latte will set you back nearly $5, ranking it among the most expensive in the world.

—————

The Newbie comment: “It’s ok, I’ll just get taxis”

(Not so) bon voyage!

What we’re dying to say:  We know you do it all the time in other countries, and that it’s usually no big deal. And we’re all for you having a try, but this really is one of the most frustrating activities you could undertake in Beijing if you don’t speak Chinese or know the city well. In fact, after a deeply unscientific survey of about 5 friends, we’ve concluded that 70% of taxi journeys undertaken by tourists end in either annoyance or tears.

Here’s why. Taxi drivers don’t speak English (not even a little bit) and so won’t know where you’re going unless you have it written down. If you do have it written down, the likelihood of you being dropped at the spot you actually requested is also slim (unless it’s a major hotel).

Because most venues aren’t that convenient to take you to (or in a location where taxi drivers will get in trouble for stopping), you’ll likely be dropped ‘in the vicinity’ instead, without a clue where you are in relation to the place you were hoping to go…

Comedy troupe Mamahuhu have been there…

Oh, and that’s if you manage to catch a taxi in the first place. Most are already booked by locals using the Didi app. And yes, before you say it, there is a brilliant English version of the app available, but that’s not super helpful either… as this skit sums up perfectly.

The struggle is real people. Ignore this one at your peril.

—————

The Newbie comment: “Chinese people aren’t allowed to say what they really think in public, and most of them have been brainwashed, right?”

Guys, it’s 2018. We’ve been cool for ages. Please keep up. Photo: H.S Liu

What we’re dying to say: Contrary to popular belief, China is not North Korea. The country ‘opened up’ in the 1980s, meaning that it’s had nearly 40 years of interaction with the outside world. Millions of its students have studied overseas in countries like the UK and US, and while state-run media still pedals the usual propagandist platitudes and there are increasingly tight controls on the internet, most people are well aware of the restrictions being placed on them. Some think that these restrictions are good for the country, some don’t. But don’t be fooled into thinking there’s no debate about it. Beijingers in particular love a good chinwag about politics over dinner!

…We’re being flippant. But we are serious about giving you total control when it comes to your trip, whether you listen to our advice or not! So whatever you want to do during your time in China, we’ll help you make it happen via our Trip Customization Service.

Know

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